Life Gets Lonely

Life gets lonely for a widow. It was seven years since Ben died. I found myself attracted to a widower in my social circle. I took classes from him and got to know him better that way. He seemed interested in me.

God’s Plan?

When he asked me out to dinner, I was ecstatic. I thought this was God’s plan for me to have a husband.  After the dinner, I was so excited, I couldn’t sleep. In church the next morning, he mentioned that he hadn’t seen me anywhere and assumed I wasn’t there. I thought, “So he was looking for me.” I accompanied him on a hospital call and thought, “We’d make a great team.”

Watching “A United Kingdom” Together

I continued in the class and we went out to eat afterwards several times. I got to know him and we had laughs together. I talked him into seeing the movie, “A United Kingdom,” about a British woman that married an African who was the chief of his tribe – a replica of my own story. When the man in the movie said, “We can’t see each other anymore because I have to return to my people in Africa,” the man I was interested in said, “I guess this is your story.” We walked out of the theatre at sunset into a beautiful Florida evening and went to his favorite restaurant, talking and laughing about an incident in the theatre. A baby was crying and finally, some of the movie goers ordered the father, “Get that baby out of here!” Somehow, we both thought that incredibly amusing.                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Beyond Myself Book Cover by Author Anita Katherine Dennis

Anita Dennis in village with womanPolar Opposites

I soon realized we were polar opposites in our political and social outlook. He watched Fox News; I watched CNN. He voted for Trump. I voted for Hillary. Although I grew up in the Midwest, I had a global outlook from my marriage. He was encased in his Midwest upbringing. He said, “I bet I can convince you to my way of thinking.” I should have seen that as a red flag, but I was so attracted to him, I was blind. I’m grateful now that he was a perfect gentleman because I was vulnerable.

We Shared our Christian Faith

The one thing we really shared was our Christian faith. However, his approach to Jesus was different than mine. I believed in practicing the presence of Christ. He’d never heard of it.

At one point when we were eating out, I became bold enough to say that I was not looking for a casual relationship with a man, but marriage. He blanched and said, “You’re embarrassing me. You are seven years a widow. I haven’t reached two years.” He later told me he was basically an introvert and liked spending time alone. This was opposite my gregarious nature. I loved being around people.

The Romance is Over

Finally, he told me he hoped I’d find that someone I was looking for. I was devastated. And yet, I believed in God’s providence. I knew that if I wasn’t within God’s will, I would never be happy. Obviously, this wasn’t God’s plan for me. It was hard seeing him around until he went back up north.

Still, I held out hope that when he returned that next fall, we might resume our relationship. I was completely wrong. Now I’m back to the single life. If the Lord wants me to have a husband, He can certainly bring one to me. Life goes on…